Shroro

The Syriac Orthodox Christian Digest - May, 2005

Sanctity of Marriage

By Rev. Fr. Alias Aramath

"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore, what God has joined together let man not separate"(Mathew 19:5-6).

Marriage is a sacrament, a mystery, which involves an invitation for two people to a new life, like Adam and Eve. For Adam said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh" (Genesis 2:23). God brought woman to man and their bodies become one. So they live together as one body. This is why the Church says to the husband: "He should love her as himself. Even though he himself is hungry he must feed her. Even if he himself thirsts he must give her drink." And to the wife: "She should care for him as herself."

Marriage is not only a contract between the couple but also an everlasting contract between the Church or God and the couple. This is why the Bible says, "Therefore what God has joined together let man not separate" (Mathew 19:6). This is also why the priest, who represents the church, places the ring on each couple's hands.

Today, so many Christian families ignore this law from God. This is why the divorce rate is highly increasing during this century. Divorce is the biggest problem today, especially in the western countries. One must remember that divorce was rare during the last generation. Each family had their own problems but they didn't try to solve it by divorce. The situation has unfortunately changed now.

While talking to a lady, she mentioned that three of her siblings had been divorced. One of the brothers had even divorced twice. She never got married because she saw the sadness and tragedy in her family, especially with the children, so she wanted no part of it. She is afraid of marrying because she thinks that it may end in divorce!

In my opinion, divorce may be a solution in rare times for the parents, but it is almost always tragic for the children. The children feel lost, unsafe, and abandoned.

So why do so many people get divorced today? It might be that they expect to become happier and see it as the solution to their problems. But this is impossible because life always has its ups and downs.

Why doesn't the Church allow divorces? As stated earlier, it is clearly against the laws of the Bible. God made this law because family relationship is the most important aspect of one's life. Marriage is not just a companionship but it is the raising of family according to God's plan. The children or the next generation is most important in the family. In older generations, parents gave more importance to their children than their enjoyment, pleasure, or freedom. That generation gave first preference to God and religion, then family, then career or money. But now freedom and pleasure are first, and God and family are last!

In the past, if there were any problems in the family the husband's family and wife's family would discuss and talk together to solve it. Often church ministers and society leaders would also help. But now couples hide their problems, and they try to solve it themselves. And the end result in most cases is divorce.

The husband may think if I get a divorce, I will find a better wife, and the wife thinks she will get a better husband. This is a huge misconception because no one can find this perfect person. Every person has a good and bad side. One must accept their life partner with his of her flaws. This is the only way to build a successful family relationship. The importance is not seeking a good person but rather being a good person. Take St. Mary as your model; in Luke 1:38, Mary answers, "I am the Lords servant. May it be to me as you have said." Be humble like St. Mary and obey the wise words of God.

"By law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage." (Romans 7:2)

"A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes; but he must belong to the Lord." (I Corinthians 7:39)