The Seven Sacraments (Part 6) - Sacrament of Matrimony

by Prof O. M. Mathew Oruvattithara

Sacrament of Matrimony: "They are no longer two"

"Whom God hath joined, man shall not render asunder". This is not a casual comment but a definite decree of Christ. Verses 2 to 8 which precede the above command in Chapter 10 of Mk. and verses 3 to 12 of Mt. 19 would speak sufficiently on the views of Christ, regarding the solemnity of matrimony. Briefly, the teaching of Jesus on marriage focuses on its unity and indissolubility. In Mt. 27, He forbids the desire for another's wife. Surely, Jesus frowns upon extra-marital relationship, polygamy and polyandry. The Nazerene has no doubt at all that marriage is a divine dispensation from the very beginning of Creation itself. Christ was absolutely certain that once the nuptial ceremony is over, the husband and wife 'are no longer two but one' or 'one flesh' as the Greek version puts it. Marriage is really a spiritual union of blood with blood and flesh with flesh. Therefore, Jesus was categoric in His contention that permanence of marriage is what is willed by God. As a sequel, He overrules the Jewish practice which had approved divorce on certain grounds. To Christ, the union in marriage is indissolvable and irrevocable. In Mk 10: 11-12 and Lk 16:18 Jesus deprecates, if not denounces, divorce, in no unmitigating manner. Biblical scholars are of the opinon that the pure and pious Christian populace of the primitive period unflinchingly followed the precepts of Jesus, as contained in Mark and Luke. The 'permission' that Christ is said to have granted for divorce on the ground of unchastity or 'fornication' as recorded in Mt. 5:32, reflects, how His teachings were adapted and applied by Jewish converts to Christianity, who were under the spell of Mosaic Law and had not got over its hangover. Not only the sayings of Christ, but His actions too, seal marriage with the imprint of divine design, even though obviously it is a 'man-made' arrangement and 'natural institution' as old as the hills. The allusion here is apparently to the miracle of Jesus at Cana in converting water into wine, which incident has been poetically put by the burgeoning poet Byron during his University days in the following immortal and moving words. 'Water saw its Lord and blushed'. A point for reflection emerges here. The action of Jesus at Cana is acclaimed as the first miracle in His public ministry. The question is as to why did He choose 'his hour' for performing a miracle, on the occasion of 'a marriage' which by all practical parameters is a 'profane' one. The answer that it is accidental, is too commonplace. With his natural incisiveness and insight, Luther has come out with a sound argument. Although Luther denies the sacramental aspect of marriage, he is all out to extol its importance as a divine ordinance. He further writes that God did bless the married state above all others. Once it is accepted that Christ is God Incarnate, all else is theologically deducible. It is part of Providence that Jesus invoked His own 'grace' on marriage ceremony, lest it will be treated as a man-made contrivance merely to gratify carnal desire or concupiscence. For Jesus it is a divine device, whereby the selfhood of a spouse is abnegated in absorption in the other and the 'two in one' would voluntarily become instruments in the Divine plan of perpetuating creative activity. The presence and actions of Jesus at the wedding at Cana are reckoners of the divine design and guidance in the marriages which the children of Adam celebrate even to this day. 

Marriage confers medicinal grace 

Valuing the views of the Master and the Apostles, the Church Fathers brought in a sublime conception on matrimony. While the OT prophets like Isaiah, Hosea and Ezekiel used 'marriage imagery' as a means of revealing Yahweh's inexhaustible love to Israel, His chosen people, the imagery received a wider compass in the hands of the Fathers. For them, it becomes a sign and symbol of love between God the Creator and the entire created beings. It is interpreted as a spiritual relationship, full of grace and mystery, transcending human understanding. St. Benevanture expressed that "marriage conferred 'medical grace' which calmed sexual desire and kept it within limits of fidelity." In Dem. XVIII, 836-7 Aphrahat, mentions 'marriage' among the good things God has created. Robert Murray in his book 'Symbols of Church and Kingdom' cites Ephrem's view against the Maricionite sect, that 'marriage', family and possession are 'lawful'. In defence of the Oriental thinking, especially of Semitic writers, Murray mentions elsewhere, that the thought of these authors are not to be rendered in categories that go back to Greek philosophical methods. 

Evolution of the concept of Marriage 

A vivid picture of early Christian ideals on marriage is available from the writings of Peter and Paul. In 1 Peter: 3, instructions on the mutual relationship of the spouses are given in very candid terms. Paul reinforces the idea of divorce as unacceptable. In 1 Cor. 7, he eloquently argues against the breaking up of marriage among the believers. This chapter contains both the expressed and implied doctrines on marital relationship. The Sacramental character of marriage is elucidated in the fifth chapter of Pauline epistle to Ephesians. Ignatius of Antioch held that the permission of a bishop was required for making a marriage valid. But the bull of Ignatius was not observed strictly, as the then Christians were governed by the inflexible Roman Law. According to which the 'consent' of the parties to the marriage was the most essential thing for its validity. So a few centuries elapsed without any specific religious rite or ritual of marriage. Again, it was not obligatory at this period to solemnise marriage in churches. Nevertheless, the remark of Tertullian is a pointer on the view of the theologians on matrimony. He writes, "How shall we ever be able to describe adequately the happiness of marriage which the Church unites, which the oblation confirms...." Next to St. Paul, it was Augustine who developed the understanding of marriage as a Sacrament. He asserted that marriage is a Sacrament as it symbolises the union between Christ and the Church. Two specific advantages of marriage were identified by him. Firstly, it discouraged the parties to marriage, from seeking sexual satisfaction elsewhere. Marriage, thus prevents humans from falling into sexual licentiousness. Secondly, it fosters the 'family' which is the forum for 'faith building' in children. Regarding divorce and remarriage, his humane disposition impelled Augustine to state that the innocent party could send away the culprit, but could not remarry. In the code of Emperor Justin, promulgated in A.D 542, for the Eastern Roman Empire, divorce and remarriage were permitted. The Greek East is still following this. By about the 8th century, benediction by a cleric became a condition for marriages to be ecclesiastically recognized. Another development also took place. Marriages began to be conducted in the churches. The first emperor of the Holy Roman Empire, Charlemagne, decreed in the 9th century, against divorce and remarriage which had crept into Christianity due to pagan practices. Pope Alexander III's decree of the 12th century, is a landmark in the concept of marriage as a Sacrament. According to it, the basis for valid marriage was declared to be the 'mutual consent' or the 'plighted troth' of the parties to marriage. This establishes the unbreakable characteristic of marriage. Taking recourse to Pauline philosophy, marriage was once again declared to be the reflection of the eternal union between Christ the Bridegoom and Church the Bride, and hence indissoluble. To allay the prevailing apprehension that sexual relationship is sinful, the Ecclesial hierarchy reiterated that it is a Sacrament, sanctified by Christ Himself, as the High Priest. That is the implication, of the words 'Whom God hath joined' in the command of Christ. Therefore, it was impressed by the authorities that marriages solemnised in a church, by a priest, implied that all what happened in wedlock were good. Sexual union of the duly married couple is thus given a spiritual dimension. It is hailed as an act for the purging of the soul, replenishment for the body and an act whereby the mortal co-operates with the Divine, in the act of 'creation'. Naturally, more than the 'plighted troth', sexual union became the condition of consummation of marriage. So the Roman Canon Law holds that, even while divorce is not permissible, ecclesiastical sanction can be granted for invalidating marriage, if sexual union has not taken place. The Syrian Orthodox Church permits 'divorce' on certain grounds, specified in its canon called 'Hudaya Canon' authored by Greegorius Bar Hebreus, the 13th century Catholicos. This is detailed very clearly, in the catechetical book, named 'Mathopadesasaram' cited already. A Dominician theologian of Spain, by name Melchior Cano, brought out a theory in the 16th century, separating the sacramental and contractual aspects in marriage. This was made use of by many a European government as a plea and defence to bring in civil legislation to regulate Christian marriages. Pope Leo XIII, thereupon decreed, in 1880, that in 'Christian Marriage' there is no distinction between contract and sacrament. This exactly is the theology of the Syrian Orthodox Church. In the Encyclical 'Castic connubi' of Pope Pius XI, the intimate life - partnership and association involved in the holy matrimony is emphasised. Further, it acknowledges the primary purpose of procreation and the essential end of educating the offsprings, inculcating religious values. Avoiding the term 'contract' as it is too legalistic and juristic in tenor, Vat II employs the Biblical phrase 'covenant' to signify marriage, as this term brings out the intimacy in marital relationship. 

Mutual consent and 'plighted troth' in Marriage 

In marriage, the 'matter' is the 'mutual consent', by the spouses. This may be accompanied by exchange of rings or joining of hands or by any other external act resulting from inculturation. For instance, a practice prevalent among the Syrian Orthodox Christians of India may be mentioned. A small talisman made of gold, with a cross engraved on it is tied around the neck of the bride using a cotton thread. This has been acknowledged as the result of the influence of a Hindu custom. For the Syrian Orthodox Christians elsewhere, this custom is not in vogue. The marriage ceremony of the Syrian Orthodox Church has two parts. The first one is betrothal . It is by the benediction and exchange of rings, denoting 'mutual consent' of the spouses. As there is no legal format for 'mutual consent' within the frame of the marriage service, this is to be deemed to form part of the matrimony, by implication. The second part is called the 'crowning ceremony' where 'heavenly crowns' are placed symbolically on the heads of the spouses. Undoubtedly, a very meaningul ceremony of the celestial sanction for the union in marriage. Unlike in the present period, these two services were held separately in former times. Among the Westerners, the solemnisation is by the parties themselves; the cleric is only a witness, while for the Easterners it is by the officiating clergyman, who is both the witness as well as the officiator. The 'form' of the marriage is by the exchanging of the vows or 'plighted troth', in the presence of witness. The parties to the marrriage pray for the inward and spiritual grace, which is a gift of the Holy Spirit, to enable them to keep the vows in their life time, firmly and faithfully. 

Family, the Domestic Ecclesia 

Among the Episcopal Churches, marriage is not a mere contract. Nor is it an arrangement for division of labour or exchange of rights and duties. It is rather an intimate partnership of life and love as Lord Christ has visualised. The grace of marriage is an aid to constant companionship, unalloyed affection and unhampered happiness. By assigning Sacramental status to marriage, the Ecclesia has made it a bridgehead, a gateway or a channel of divine grace. Verily, through this Sacrament flows the perennial benediction on the 'family' which is also called 'domestic Ecclesia' or 'Church in miniature', as well as the nursery for inculcating Christian values in the young ones. What, Count Cavour, the Italian nation builder, commented on the family is worthy of quoting here. 'Man learns the first lessons of citizenship, between the mother's kiss and the father's caress'. The 'natural institution' called marriage, is understood by Christianity as a divine device, a sacred Sacrament, in the light of the teaching of Christ and the preaching of the god-intoxicated prelates of the Ecclesia. In conclusion, what, even the Protestant theologian John Macquarrie emphasises, is to be incorporated. "In taking marriage into the Sacramental structure, the Church has broken down the barrier between the sacred and the secular and provides for the impact of the divine grace upon our everyday activities". 

Next: THE SEVEN SACRAMENTS - (PART 7) - Sacrament of anointing the Sick 
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Published with the permission of the Author. This web site may not be reproduced in any form or by any means, without permission in writing from the author. This book was first published in December 2001 -- Moran 'Etho Series No.16 --Publishers:- ST. EPHREM ECUMENICAL RESEARCH INSTITUTE (SEERI) Baker Hill, Kottayam, Kerala, India. Pin- 686 001